Razzle In My Pocket

In my yellow jersey, I went out on the nick. South Street Romford, shopping arcade Got a Razzle magazine, I never paid Inside my jacket and away double quick. Good sense told me, once was enough But I had a cocky eye on more of this stuff With the Razzle in my pocket, Back to have another peek Instead of being sneeky I strolled inside, I put my thieving hand on something rude I walked right out with a silhouette of nudes 'Hold on sonny' said a voice at my side 'I think you've taken one of my books' Passers by gave me dirty looks 'Not me mister' I bravely lied We stopped by the window of a jeweller's shop In my yellow jersey, I went out on the nick. South Street Romford, shopping arcade Got a Razzle magazine, I never paid Inside my jacket and away double quick. Good sense told me, once was enough But I had a cocky eye on more of this stuff With the Razzle in my pocket, back to have another peek Instead of being sneeky I strolled inside, I put my thieving hand on something rude I walked right out with a silhouette of nudes 'Hold on sonny' said a voice at my side 'I think you've taken one of my books' Passers by gave me dirty looks 'Not me mister' I bravely lied We stopped by the window of a jeweller's shop 'If it's money for your lunch, I'd have given you a loan Have you got any form, were you on your own? Round to the station and we'll tell the cops' 'I'm ever so ashamed, it was wicked and rash Here's the book back, and here's the cash I never stole before, I promise I'll stop' 'Crime doesn't pay, you've got honest eyes If we go to the law another thief is born And I'll get the book back, creased and torn So return what you've taken and apologise' I gave him back his nudie book I said I was sorry, I slung my hook With the Razzle in my pocket as the second prize --- Razzle in My Pocket - Ian Dury